„It’s like waiting never ends. I always prayed for not having a life of constant waiting. In the morning, waiting for the afternoon. On Monday, for Friday. In winter, for summer. But still I sometimes said I waited. And I really did. Even though I tried to fill up the actual present with myself, with her, the couch with others. I wanted never to regret. I don’t know if I ever will. Maybe I will forgive myself, that is why I will think that I won’t regret. I made choices every day. In a certain way, maybe not the best ones. But maybe there is not really any bad decision, just simply ‘decision’.
It wants me to find myself again. Everything drives me that way. And now, I would like to throw away this long awaited time. I feel nostalgic as if there was any way of going backwards.”
‘Remembrance of Home’ is a research focusing on family and motherhood, in the face of time. This project grows out of an inner feeling of urge, a need to connect with the inner mama, to heal and to share the experience of healing. It contemplates to grab the true essence of the family and the mother, that might be very different for everybody. It wants to focus on the quality of the person, accentuate it as a true core element of the smallest unit of society, the close-family.
It’s an ongoing research, project, including multiple directions.
- The ‘Mother Within’ is being shaped. A way of including the public, audience, bigger group. I started out with the ‘Open Space’ group in Budapest from 2017 on, in the frame of the Instinct Body Training, we had a presentation on the 3rd of July 2021 in Balatonszárszó: „If you don’t find anything, call your mother” (Ha valamit nem találsz, kérdezd anyádat!) This part focused more on the imprint of the FAMILY. I continued with the be spectACTive! group in April 2022 workshop-performance. This part focused more on the quality of the MOTHER.
- A multi artistic collaboration is in working progress together with artists like: Csilla Nagy (Cipolla Collectiva), Zsuzsanna Simányi, Eszter Herold, Ádám Márton Horváth, Syporca Whandal
- A solo work as an essence of these is under progression too!
Stay tuned for future infos!
- April 2022, Mother Within ws, spectACTive! group, Bakelit MAC
- February 8-9, 2025, Mother Within ws as part of the Performance NOW! Festival (pictures: Pocsai Martina, 2025, in: StereoAkt)
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